Better.

I like to have things together.

I am organized, one-step-ahead, knowledgeable. I am able to plan, and I plan well.

But there are those days when I don't have it together. When I bite off more than I can chew. When I think to myself:

"What have I gotten myself into?"

I freak out. I call my husband, my best friends, my mom and I vent. "Vent" meaning complain, deflect and have a heart attack. I say, "whoa is me" and wonder how am I going to complete the task at hand. I literally have anxiety that makes my heart jump out of my chest. Immediately I fall on my face and pray against the anxiety, because it is not from the Lord.

In these moments I realize how small I am. I know it is only through Christ that anything I do is accomplished.

"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." 1 Cor. 1:19

This verse makes the pressure fall off my back. I can finally breathe.

Who am I to think that my knowledge, my organization, my dreams are mine?

I chose to give these gifts to Him for His glory and therefore can sleep at night, knowing that if it is His will, it will be done. All I have to do is give Him my all. When I dream big, when I accidentally bite off more than I can chew, I grow. Through these events I am forced to give more and more of myself to Christ.

I think this is how God uses people shake the world.

Praise God that we have someone who knows better, does better and who IS better.